Motherhood & Babywearing / A Chat with NICU Mom, Local Small Business Owner, and Founder of Lottie Wear- Laura Brightwell
Okay everyone, you guys are in for a treat!
Today, I’m hanging out with Laura Brightwell- Mom, Designer, and Owner of Lottie Wear baby slings.
Laura and I met via Instagram, after her beautiful slings caught my eye. I love linen, I love her color scheme, I love that she named her company after her daughter! She’s all about community and lifting other mothers and women up. Trust me, you’re going to love her.
Enjoy!
“I love that my company was inspired by my daughter, born out of prayer, and uses my talents to make life easier for mamas and babies. ”
Laura Brightwell Shares the Reality of Postpartum Anxiety, NICU and Babywearing
Hi Laura! I’m so honored to have you here in our little worthy community. Your slings are absolutely gorgeous, and babywearing is such a special topic…Tell us about your company and how you got started!
Laura and Charlotte in the NICU
I’m Laura, an almost 30 mom of 1. I am a trained occupational therapist, that's what I do as my "day job." My husband, daughter, and I live outside of Charleston with our dog and 2 cats. My daughter is 18 months old, her name is Charlotte and my company is named after her.
I became interested in babywearing while I was pregnant with my daughter. I was super drawn to natural childbirth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering and natural parenting. Babywearing just seemed to be an extension of that. While I was pregnant, I developed pregnancy induced anxiety and wanted my baby close to me at all times after she was born. I started researching babywearing early on, because I thought it would keep other people from touching and holding her- I was worried she would get sick. I've worked with kids with disabilities/in the NICU for a large part of my professional career, and I think that played into my anxiety.
At 20 weeks pregnant, my husband said we needed to do something different and I decided to change OBs- which was scary! I changed to a smaller practice with a doctor who spent 1.5 hours with me at my first appointment and went over all my concerns, discussed my anxiety, and helped me develop a plan to treat it. I developed complications in my pregnancy, and started having contractions at 30 weeks. I spent 4 weeks on bedrest and made many trips to labor and delivery before my water broke and she was born at 34 weeks. She spent time in the NICU after that. Having worked in the NICU as a therapist, I knew what to expect but was in a whole different world all at the same time. It was so hard. And emotions are high postpartum anyway, I spent many days in tears. When she came home, babywearing became my way of connecting, encouraging breastfeeding, and soothing her while also soothing my own postpartum anxiety.
I can’t even begin to imagine. I know several of our moms reading this might be experiencing postpartum anxiety or might be facing the reality of NICU. Is there anything you can share with us that you might have needed to hear?
For postpartum anxiety, if you are going through this, know that it’s just how some of our bodies and brains respond to the hormones. Advocate for yourself! If you're not getting what you need from your doctor, tell them or find someone who gives you what you need. Life is so much easier when you face the problem and work to find a solution.
For those facing a NICU stay, build a support system. Lean on your spouse/partner/coparent if you have one. Lean on your family. Develop a relationship with the nurses who are caring for your baby. They are amazing (as a general rule) and will make you feel more connected to your baby and his/her care. Whenever possible, be at rounds with the doctors so that you feel a part of the care. But most of all, try to let go of your expectations and find the positives in the process. It’s hard, but if you can let go of expectations, you can celebrate your baby's progress instead of comparing to what it "should have been."
Charlotte, Age 18 months
Babywearing: Motherhood, Parenting Styles, and Juggling Your Identity
Would you say that babywearing became a way of how you mother?
Babywearing has naturally enhanced my parenting to this point. It has helped to create an amazing relationship with my daughter and it continues to provide a connection to me when she (and I) need it most. It has definitely contributed to my lead by example parenting style.
Working with moms, especially new moms, I see so many ideals and expectations thrown at them when it comes to parenting styles and the choices they make. Can you speak to this?
Words of wisdom: follow your instincts. Everyone thinks they have a right to tell you their opinion about how you should do pregnancy, birth, and mothering. Family, friends, even strangers will just offer up their opinions constantly. Trust your gut mama. It is your baby and your family, and you know best. Even when you think you don't know what you're doing, you really know more than you'd believe. You're doing it all day every day.
My vision for my company is to grow and support the mom community, literally and figuratively. In this generation, moms need as much physical support as ever, as so many live further away from families. Slings can physically support your mothering effort and give you a break. I want our company to support moms of all walks of life and their decisions in mothering their own way.
Yes! I agree! I know many of our mothers are juggling so much, the last thing they need are more opinions. Would you mind sharing how you’re finding balance in between being a mom and keeping with your own identity as a small business owner?
It is so hard running a small business and mothering! I'm also still working at my "day job." It means a lot of multitasking, relying on my husband, and honestly not always getting everything done. My day usually looks like waking up, sitting down to breakfast with my daughter, and having a little quiet time together in the mornings. After that, I spend time doing household chores or working on LottieWear. We’ll have lunch together and I’ll put Charlotte down for a nap before leaving for my day job. I come home, work on LottieWear, make dinner, and spend time with Charlotte before I put her to bed. I'm home often with her, but she doesn't always get my full attention. I think it’s made her a self-sufficient and independent girl, and I love that! She knows I'm there, and I will always stop what I'm doing if she needs me. But she can play by herself, and she sees her mama working on something I love in front of her every day. I hope it will teach her work ethic, and to follow her dreams to do something she loves! I hope I'm modeling a well-rounded person, as her mama, with lots of parts and passions.
“My vision for my company is to grow and support the mom community, literally and figuratively. In this generation, moms need as much physical support as ever, as so many live further away from families. Slings can physically support your mothering effort and give you a break. I want our company to support moms of all walks of life and their decisions in mothering their own way. ”
Ring Slings: Tips for Infants, Toddlers, Partners and Breastfeeding
Do you have any practical tips on using a ringsling? Or how to incorporate it into your everyday scene?
In the early days, I think a lot of moms are nervous about babywearing because it can feel insecure and awkward. Try it at home when both you and baby are comfortable, and there's no pressure to get it right. Walk around with babe in the carrier with your hands on him/her until you feel more comfortable and confident. For baby, the biggest factor in their comfort is YOUR comfort, so take the pressure off and think of it as playing. Definitely don't try for the first time during witching hour!
For toddlers and more mobile kids, you might find they’ll want a sense of independence, and sometimes don't want to be worn. And that's OK! One reason I love a ring sling for this season in our life is because it’s so easy to carry around in my diaper bag. We can start the day off with her walking next to me, and when she gets tired or overwhelmed, it's easy to put on and go! Options are so important with toddlers.
What about nursing while wearing your little one?
Breastfeeding while babywearing is AMAZING. I have a very attached nurser. She often wants to nurse for long periods of time during the day, or when she gets overwhelmed out in public. Nursing while wearing her lets me continue what I need to do while also meeting her needs. My biggest advice for this would be, again, to practice at home if you want this option in your wheelhouse. I would wait until you feel comfortable breastfeeding without the babywearing piece added in, and it’s okay if that takes a while! Try it out at home and if you have any problems or feel uncomfortable, your local La Leche League is a great resource full of people who can offer hands on support.
What about partners? Do you see men using your slings often?
Babywearing was amazing for my husband! When I went back to work part time, Charlotte would stay home with my husband for a few hours during the day. Since he didn't have the option to let her nurse if she got upset, he would comfort her by wearing her. It was amazing for bonding the two of them, and it also gave me a break. I think some dads are nervous, just like moms are, but practicing at home can be so helpful. One thing I will mention about our slings is that they are one size fits most, so the same sling should work for both mom and dad. At first, my husband actually preferred a different style of carrier than I did, so you may have to individually do some trying.
Above all, my biggest advice is to go with what feels natural for you and your babe. That may mean trying several different styles of carriers, practicing at home a lot, getting advice from girlfriends or family, etc. Trust your gut, mamas, and if it doesn't feel right, try something else! It's not one size fits all.
Well, everyone can see how absolutely gorgeous your slings are! Have you always been a creative?
I have been handy with a sewing machine for a while now and was making some of my daughters clothes. I had a wrap style carrier and a soft structured carrier when my daughter was younger that I loved. As she got bigger I started to research ring slings and decided to try to make one myself to customize it. I loved picking out the material and rings. I enjoyed it so much I just kept doing it!
Okay, so give us the details! What do you love about your sling?
My favorite part of our slings is the pocket on the tail trimmed in leather! It’s perfect to hold your phone, wallet, pacifier, toy, muslin swaddle, etc (not all at once). You can never have too many pockets and I love that feel of just a small piece of leather. Our leather is responsibly sourced as well, from pieces that otherwise wouldn't be used.
Thank you so much, Laura. We absolutely love your carriers and I know our community will too!
You can find Laura and her GORGEOUS slings here on Instagram, here on Etsy.